I am Shadowfiend

Warm, crimson blood poured from the decapitated legs of the mutilated soldier onto the cold earth; between his shallow, pained wheezing he incoherently stammered for mercy to the towering amorphous shadow that looked down over his crippled body. “Ahhh, your soul will be an excellent addition to my collection.” The entity spoke slowly and its words hung in the air with vaporous enunciation. The voice bellowed deeply, seemingly comprised of innumerable human voices.
“Wha– what are you?”
“What am I?” The being seemed delighted to answer. “I am the physical incarnation of fear and anguish. I am the stygian void that wanders between dimensions to devour the life essence of sentient beings. I am the destroyer of worlds. I am Mara and Kaliyan and Ravana. I am the 9 Headed Beast. I have consumed entire cities, and I leave nothing but the withered bones and stinking, rotting husks of beings like you.”
“I am Shadowfiend, the necromantic amalgamation of souls like yours. Your most intimate memories, your most heroic achievements, and your most detestable desires. Everything that characterizes your pathetic, vacuous humanity will be absorbed into the immortal hive-mind. Now tell me, are you afraid?” The man could not respond. His enormous eyes were opened wide, staring up inexpressively. He was shaking erratically, and his jaw was clenched with such pressure that one could hear his teeth cracking in his gums.
“Do you believe in god.” Shadowfiend slowly drew closer to the crushed man. “Pray now. Your gods cannot hear you in the void.” The man was physically and spiritually broken. Like a spider syphoning the digested fluid from a crippled insect, Shadowfiend began to draw out the seething, ectoplasmic life force from the man’s marred flesh. Leaving nothing but a blanched corpse, the evil creature left in search of more souls to assimilate into its aphotic shapelessness.

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Neosoul Heartbreaks Volume 1

The best soundcloud has to offer.

Wild Belle – It’s Too Late (Snakehips Remix)
Toro Y Moi – Fax Shadow (Shlohmo Remix)
Tinashe – Let You Love Me (XXYYXX Remix)
Flying lotus – Binge eating without you
So Many Details – Toro y Moi
Snakadaktal – Dance Bear (Ta-ku Remix)
Myth Syzer – BLUE
Love Isn’t Made (feat. Steffaloo) – xxyyxx
Jeremih – 773 Love (Cashmere Cat Edit)
Frank Ocean – Pyramids (Kastle Remix)
First Aid Kit- Winter Is All Over You (Baauer Remix)
Bjork – Hidden Place (Blackbird Blackbird Bootleg) – BLACKBIRD BLACKBIRD

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It is hard for me to make myself motivated– I am motivated by inspiration or, I suppose more accurately, a fleeting obsession in which I am consumed with whatever work I have thrust myself into. I make this distinction because I think it is something more then merely being inspired to do something. It is a compulsion to think and daydream about whatever it is I am focused on during any other activity, as if it takes precedence in the sloppy stack of things to do in my head.

Often it is some useless, inapplicable talent such as freestyle rapping, using nunchucks, learning how to play 5 finger filet, video games, or any other number of time wasting activities.

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What I Value

I think one of the things I value most is people. I like to think that I believe that every individual is valuable and has something positive to offer. I thus value my friends and family as well– I think that I invest a lot of myself in other people, sometimes too much. I trust them and want them to trust me, but sometimes the reverberation of this almost naive faith in people is that sometimes I am hurt when I don’t feel like someone values me or is uninterested in me. I value art and artists. I love collaborating with someone while they are working on a paper, song, or other creative work. Even when they are in control, offering my input or insight on minor details such as the tone of a high hat or subtle tweaks on a thesis statement. I love music as well; it is clear not only by the direction of the film projects I want to work on, but also my obsessive infatuation with collecting new music on the internet. Soon, I will get to work on my own music as I am planning on downloading logic tonight, hopefully I can get some help from my friend on how to use it!

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Gahh html5 is not working so I can’t use the embedded soundcloud player 🙁 :(. Don’t worry folks I will continue to upload fresh music, you will just have to click the hyperlinks to soundcloud and I’ll update them once I iron out the issues.

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How I Work

The determinant factor of my work habits is not how I complete the assignment, but rather what I am working on. I have to methods of working: I am either completely absorbed by the project or assignment, thinking about it constantly and obsessively planning every minute detail, or I am uninterested, irresponsibly procrastinating until the night before. Although some may argue this method is ineffective, I have found that I produce my best work when under the pressure of a deadline. These two different styles of working are a manifestation of my personality– I am an obsessive person when it comes to things that interest me and usually everything else becomes secondary. Often my room is left unkempt, clothes strewn across the floor, because I suppose I am not interested in thinking about it, instead choosing to sit down and begin working on this website or (when its absolutely necessary) my homework. I suppose it would be beneficial to me if I worked on my time management skills.

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