Thinking about the future is one of my favorite past times but even I will admit that actually having to sit down and write a business plan for the future is rather daunting. Because in doing this I’ve realized how much of the future isn’t set in stone. Unlike the majority of my best friends who are all Computer Science majors they are confident in the knowledge that there will be a job for them. That they will get their masters in Computer Science and specialize in something like video games and have a job. As a musician there isn’t such a guarantee.
There is so much in the music industry that I can do that I don’t even know which I would like to do. So I suppose in typical fashion for me I’m going to start with what I don’t want to do. Even though I am a piano performance major I have never wanted to be a performer. While I enjoy bringing the beauty and emotion out of music it has never felt right to me. I don’t shine when I’m on stage, I’m more likely to get scared and nervous. I would rather work behind the scenes than on the stage. I think being a performer is maybe the one thing I don’t want to do.
I have thought long and hard about becoming a piano teacher especially in the early stages of my career to make some money before trying to pursue a career in the music industry. But once again I’m not sure I would want to teach outside of having my own studio.
Probably what excites me the most though is the prospect of getting the opportunity to work in the music industry. One of my goals my Junior or Senior year is to land an internship at a label and get firsthand experience on how everything works. I just started writing pop songs my Senior year of high school and that is something that I greatly enjoy and want to pursue. For my oral presentation for Disc this week I read an article on Justin Bieber’s manager Braum. It was highly informative and I think I could enjoy doing a job like that.
So I guess, I do kind of know what I do and don’t want to do in the future. I want to work the more background stuff in the industry I just don’t know what exactly and how to get there. But I have faith in God if he brought me as far as here he will lead me down the right path.
So as I’ve mentioned before when I took the Meyer Briggs test it said that I was an ENFP. My many skills of being an ENFP include: People skills, a vast array of different talents, and the ability to intuitively perceive the truth about people. While my best friend Alex Dreyer likes to argue with me that after you take the Meyer Briggs test you begin to act like the personality it describes I don’t agree. Even before I took the test I have always had amazing people skills in fact as Dry would say I can probably talk to a log and get it to like me. In a way that skill can become quite manipulative. I’m very good at convincing to my point of view while making it seem like it was their thought all along. My mom is a Alternative medicine doctor(although she really is a doctor as she went to Medical School in China) so she has taught me since I was a little girl how to read faces and hands. However, I do believe that God gave me a special ability to read others. I rarely mention to other people what they are truly like on the inside unless I’m angry enough to mention so.
As one of my best friends here at SMU, Jarret likes to tell me the two things that stick out to him most about me is how caring I am of everyone else and how I can emotionally tie myself to everyone. Which I think is my favorite part of writing lyrics, the ability to connect my emotions with that of a mass audience. To finally give my pain, suffering and happiness a voice; to allow others a sense of catharsis, a feeling of relief that there are others in the world who has gone through what you have gone through. Another of my skills is my ability to convey other people’s emotions. Some of my best friends have gone in depth with their stories and I have written songs that have portrayed their emotions (I would never lose their trust however, I have always asked them if I could before I just did).
One of my greatest blessings and curses is my love for others and how I always want to care for them. A lot of times they don’t deserve my love yet I still give it. If it didn’t give me great pain and sadness all the time I could accept it but it doesn’t so I’m continuously torn between my nature of caring for others and my frustration for how the world isn’t perfect.
My motivations just like everything else about me can be extremely complicated. One of my biggest motivations is to be able to bring to the world the emotional vulnerability that can be otherwise hard to show. I’m a person who doesn’t like showing my emotions much. I almost always have a smile on my face or a laugh ready. So a lot of people believe that I don’t feel emotion but I do. I want to bring out all the emotions that people may not even realize they feel.
My other motivation is a bit selfish I want to show people I can do it. My parents are two of my biggest supporters but also two of my biggest critics. I want to show them that I’m able to do this.
One of the biggest motivations in life for me is my hatred of failure. I hate thinking I’ve failed someone especially when I love that person. Although, because of the last seven years and the amount of times I have “failed” people I’m getting used to it and not letting it affect me as much. As my best friend Alex Dreyer likes to tell me, no matter what happens he will always love and support me through everything.
I think what I value impacts my music but most importantly who I am. A person without values can not be trusted and I fullheartedly believe that.
I think I value happiness above all else. Nothing in the world is worth it if you aren’t happy. I want to be happy in whatever situation or scenario life throws at me. Life is rarely perfect, in fact its probably never perfect but if one can learn to be happy in any scenario then it really wouldn’t matter would it? I find it interesting that those who have the least to be happy about are the most happy. I wouldn’t claim to be the happiest person on this earth but having been through a lot in my life I still find a way to keep a smile on my face. So honestly my biggest dream is to be happy and content in my career while making enough money to support myself financially.
I would be lying if I said making money isn’t important to me. It’s not to say though that I will sacrifice everything just to make money. My mom always told me that I needed to have a job that could at any time support me in case something happens. So to build on my first value I want a career that allows me to be happy and make enough money to be financially comfortable.
I remember taking the Meyer Briggs personality test and it said that I was an ENFP(extroverted, intuitive, feeling, perceptive) one of the things it stressed I must have in my future career was creating something and having constant change around me. I thought to myself that it was probably true, I don’t do well with monotonous jobs, I have to have constant little change and the ability to be creative and just feel like I’m doing something.
I’m fairly certain my dad and I spent the majority of my high school years arguing about my study habits. He had this “college system” that he was trying to teach me and I was having none of it. I didn’t particularly like studying the subjects I hated, and often the subjects I hated were the ones they expected me to do well. I detested math and all the sciences(particularly Chemistry and Physics), I wasn’t willing to spend hours on material I frankly hated. Some people told me that if I only put time in I would be amazing at it because I’m asian but I’m fairly certain that’s a stereotype. Now that’s college I’m grateful that most of my classes are things I like and even Math is enjoyable.
When it comes to piano, I will admit I’m not the person that likes or even wants to practice for hours upon hours( I know of people who practice six to eight hours a day). I prefer being efficient, playing my one to three hours a day and being done with it. While repetition of certain phrases can be oddly soothing I’m most comfortable with analyzing music wondering why the composer wrote it that way and trying to determine what the passage means.
I have always been rather efficient with my time as evidenced by the amount of time I really spent towards piano. Usually, I would hurry back home from school (elementary, middle and high) to get in an hour of piano before dinner. After dinner, I would occasionally play another hour but usually I wouldn’t because I rarely had time my Junior or Senior Year(taking 5 APs monopolizes your time). Besides, I found it curious that sometimes when I don’t practice something to death it’s pretty good when I play for my teacher whereas I can practice something to death and it still sounds bad(and plain frustrating).
So coming here and trying to practice three hours a day can get rather tough since I’m not used to playing so much but I’m trying to adjust to my new life and major as best as I can
I hadn’t always known that I wanted to be a pianist, I wasn’t sure what it was I wanted to do but I just wanted to have fun. During my junior year of high school we were required to take a personality test(Meyer Briggs) and my personality type: ENFP meant that I was best suited to a career that would allow me to have creativity and the ability to work with others. I was originally going to be a premed major but in my heart that was never something I actually wanted to do. My mother was a doctor and even though most doctors were highly successful in society it just wasn’t the right career for me. Having been told by multiple people that god would call you to the right career path I sent a prayer up to him to lead me down the right road that would give me maximum happiness and allow me to still be successful in the worldy sense. But in order to understand how I came to choose Piano Performance as my major we need to take a journey back.