I have been saying something to myself, lately which I think everyone should embrace.

“Life is a journey.”

It is a path. And that path leads you to and away from every decision you will ever make. So what decisions should I make? I think my own…

As soon as I can make my own nest in the city, I will starve. I will struggle and suffer in misery. I will lothe my style of living, scrapping by on the few funds I can gather. And I will smile and be joyous in the same occasion.

“Its cool, ya know? Just livin’ life and its kinda fun.”

I plan to suffer for the sake of self-exploration in my art and soul, searching for the most active conduit between the two. Creep the darker corners of venues packed with patrons to gaze and awe at my creations. Some way, grad school will come. There I will teach and enrich adolescent minds with my art. Then go about my path.

No one can see every curve along their trail. So I must object to planning any further than what I’ve given you above.

My future is very important to me, hence the lack of brash language and semi-melancholy tone. Sorry if that ruined anyone’s fun for the evening.

Skill.

I can kinda juggle. I know how to smoke cigarettes. I can walk on my hands…

Skills. To some people, a skill is anything another person can do that is impressive. Correct? No no no I think there is something much deeper in the word.

Take the vibe and energy of the actor in front of you. Magnify. Reflect.
I take this as my most important skill…

I love energy. Everything, spaces and living things, exhibit an energy. We all give off vibes at different frequencies. (Note that I’m not being literal… But I kind of am)

EXAMPLE: Bekka Walker on green light, room light, and the two mixed – ” I don’t like these vibes. It’s too grungy. Turn the green light off. yea I like this. It’s more ‘Wes Anderson’ film.”

I try my best and usually succeed in picking up on these energies. It’s powerful and connecting. But the hardest part is getting the other person to pick up on your own vibes.

I believe it.

Skills are objective. How a person uses skill determines success.

I would like to apologize for my brash language in previous posts.  I understand that certain words and ideas can be offensive to people, and to that I sincerely apologize. I’m deeply sorry that you didn’t understand the meaning of my last post and did exactly as I warned you not to do. Your butthole smells terrible, by the way.

ANYWAYS, on to this week’s topic: MOTIVES!!! YAY!!! ._.

Motivate me, please. Give me an idea, a fleshy and beautiful piece of unfinished art. Allow me to bring it to life! I need nothing more that excitement and able and willing bodies to produce something new. Speak with me, fellow artists, and tell me a dream you have. Tell me of an image you see and let us make life appear. Make life appear. Do you understand me? Art, in all forms, is the encapsulation of the human species, so let us collaborate and make new life!

I know you’ve all heard me say it before.There’s a whole barrel of fucks I don’t give sitting next to me, also. I will say it 1000 times and still not have exhausted myself in saying it. My motivation lies behind the black and white concept of creating. To create. To creat anything? To create art – new life.

Fuckin’ chills up my spine, man. Time for a smoke.

Love can inspire me to make music. Engines can inspire me to build. The wind can inspire me to write poetry. In a way, the world around us is one big masterpiece, and through a persistently creative lens, it inspires every part of me to make a newer, smaller masterpiece of my own. To add to the world.

Am I easily entertained, or constantly open to a new perspective? I’ll choose “B”.

Sorry this wasn’t as entertaining as the last few blogs. But I hope you actually read this far. And if you didn’t, it’s whatever… Ass.

So long and keep those lenses open!

-Cam

P.s. Download my album for free!

What the fart is a value worth to anyone else besides yourself? Cool, I’m glad you appreciate your own butthole, but that doesn’t mean everyone else needs to. I just don’t understand the way people think sometimes…

The world’s perception of proper values is a little more skewed than I would like to be comfortable with.

Example A: I’m sitting on a bench with an expensive, over priced laptop with my hair in my face and a cigarette hanging out of my mouth. What does that tell you about me? I’m a trend following, dirty smelling low life? Uhh uhh. No, sir or madam, you are wrong. I shower twice a day because I feel that being clean is an essential part of MY lifestyle. I smoke to entertain and keep MYself calm. I own this laptop because its functionality is superior to others when using programs for MY music and writing.

Now notice how I used “MY”? That word is an essential tool in understanding this lesson kids. MY values are what hold my head up in times of stress. The things which I appreciate most, propel me towards greater and more creative things. And I VALUE other people who hold their values and beliefs to their own personal highest standards… Without rubbing their butthole in my face. So what exactly are my values?

1.Probably the best ever.

2. Second to none.

3. Mine and mine alone.

Sure, we may share a belief or two, and by all means lets bond! But my point is, keep your hands, feet, and butthole inside your vehicle at all times…

ANYWAYS. My overall, most important value is…

(drumroll)

Preserve the arts; preserve them in any way I, or anyone else for that matter, can see possible. I believe that the entire human race shares a soul in the arts. Keep the arts alive – keep the world alive. And I mean that in a literal and metaphorical way.

I leave you with this–> Keep your values strong, personal, and productive. It makes everything so much easier.

And keep those buttholes to yourselves.

P.s. Go download my album. Its free.

I  don’t have the healthiest habits.

I’m a smoker with severe depression and anxiety. Even now I’m sitting in a woven metal lawn chair surrounded by the darkness of an open garage and peering at my screen through a cloud of smoke. But despite how awfully detrimental to my health that may sound… I’m comfortable. This is how I think; in my own personal little hell. In this state, my mind is no longer fighting itself through every turn of event. Its free to do as it pleases, and from that comes my deepest and darkest conclusions.

I like to watch people. Not taking notes. Not recording them. Not even letting them know I’m  observing. Every posture and every movement suggest so much more to me than simple day to day interactions. I see when someone pains. I feel when discomfort creeps up their spine. I can taste the sentiment or vengeance in every sound which falls from their tongue. I know these people intimately: these strangers whom have no interest in my existence. They only need to live and let me watch.

It is awe inspiring. The human race is awe inspiring. And I feel it is so important that we learn as much about ourselves as we can. Fuck the ocean and outer space.Theatre is a preservation of human interaction and emotion. Keep theatre alive. Keep ourselves alive.

Time for another smoke.

From this unreasonable and unexplainable hell inside my mind comes the best and brightest feelings. Ironic? Not quite. Here I teach and learn simultaneously. I pick at things, gnawing at the specificity of the reason for every spark in my brain. Conclusions turn questions and answers turn definite to vague. Its all very vague… Yet so clear.

“You understand me? Psh. Psh. Eyeballs. She’s hookin’ YOU up.” – Pvt. Kaleb Douglas (USMC)

Its about thinking, understanding, then reacting. Thats how I feel this whole world of acting goes. The only difference is that when its real, T, U, and R happen instantaneously.  So MAKE it real. Faking it is dumb. Then what do you have? You have T.U.R.D. Yep- Shitty acting.

That goes for everything I do, especially my music. By the by, here’s the link to my new album. —> < CLICK ME > Its FREE to download. Just enter “0.00″ in the name your price box. Don’t worry you CAN pay me money if you’d like.

One more smoke before I go.

Take care my friends. I’d suggest you find a dark corner to sulk in.

“Maybe if you cry about it, you’ll feel better.” – Parker Gray

Yes… Yes I will.

(From Official Facebook Page - http://www.facebook.com/CameronElliotMills – 8/29/12)

I lack computer skills. So a website for myself? Coming soon… The only thing I’m any good at using on a computer is sond editing software and video production.
Besides that, a website comes soon, I promise. (I know most of you could care less)