Back to Fall Retreat 04 pics THE VINE FIRE BUILDING TIPS 1) Locate the fire place inside your cabin. Remove all flammable objects from the vicinity of the fireplace. This includes the several group members who have their heads inside the fire place "inspecting something" even as the first match is lit. 2) Make sure that at least one member of your group recognizes what a starter log looks like. Be equally sure that at least one member of your group will be willing to touch the start log after it is identified. 3) Appoint one person in the group to build the fire. Immediately after choosing said-person, a minimum of five people should self-appoint themselves to help with the process, all the while assuring the first person that they fully believe in their qualifications as a competent fire-builder. 4) Go out looking for twigs and other small material for the fire in pairs. When you cannot find any twigs, break off a branch of a living tree in desperation and return to the cabin with an air of confidence. Upon entering the cabin and seeing that your twig-finding partner has brought in a hand full, immediately claim that the live branch you needlessly killed smelled good, and you thought it might add something nice to the ambience of the fire. 5) Ignore the first person who asks if the chute has been opened. Continue to ignore anyone who asks this question until you can know longer tell who is asking the question because of the cloud of grey smoke filling the room. 6) After locating and opening the chute, continue to wait inside the cabin for the smoke to dissipate. After significant dizziness has set in, acquiesce to the unreasonable demands of the rest of the group, and wait outside until the smoke finally clears. 7) When you can see the ceiling again, reenter the cabin and start eating smores! - written by John Gram