I have always been the person to have a plan. After I was made aware of my love for theatre I knew that if I was to achieve anything with this career it was absolutely necessary for me to sketch out the rest of my life. While I was attending an arts elementary school, I knew what my next move would be, which was to apply and audition for an arts middle school. Right after I was accepted into the theatre department at that middle school, I started looking at high schools and came across Booker T. Washington High School for the Performing and Visual Arts. I made it my absolute goal to get into the theatre department at that performing arts school, and I did. And when I started looking at colleges all my plans reached a stop, which is only normal since we have thousands and thousands of colleges all over the country. But I started freaking out because I’ve always been the person with the plan. The person that tends to get whatever she puts her mind to. So not having a plan, or map to say the least, was absolutely terrifying. Then everything changed when I auditioned for Southern Methodist University. I knew I had found my dream college. Now things didn’t go according to plan the first time around because of financial reasons, but my love for this school was greater than any obstacle that was being placed in front of me during that period of time. So I planned to audition for the school the following year. I wasn’t going to give up on my dream, even though to be honest, I felt like giving up on this idea of “reaching your dreams” many times. This school was in my plans, on my map, imprinted in my heart and I wasn’t going to let it go. And so now I’m here and I am as happy as can be.

I know this blog is supposed to be about my future plans and goals, but I always find it helpful to look back at my older maps. They serve as a reminder of how far I have come in life. I find that to be quite encouraging. Especially, since at this point in my life, I find myself questioning everything. Sometimes I forget why I’m here, what I’m here for, and what I need to do in order to survive here. It might sound harsh but that is the way I am feeling at the moment. I do remain optimistic about my future though. I’m excited for whatever is to come my way and I am willing to accept it with open arms. Being in college I have realized, that most times than not, plans tend not turn out according to plan. At first, I found that  frustrating and rather stalling to my career. Now I prefer not to make plans or goals. I feel like it closes me off to the many opportunities this university has to offer. Before college, I believed that it was an absolute necessity for me to be completely dedicated to acting and nothing more. Looking back now, I regret some of the decisions I made in high school to exempt myself from opportunities of crewing or designing costumes/sets. My plan isn’t to become a technician for shows or a costume designer, but I’ve discovered that it is something I enjoy doing. While being at SMU, I’ve discovered so much more about the world of theatre, which provides me with skills to better artist.

I know that it sounds like I don’t have a plan for the years to come, but I do it just isn’t formatted in the same manner as my past goals. For the next three and half years that I have left I plan to expand my horizons by taking classes that interest me, but are not always related to theater. I want to learn the most I can about the world I live in. I don’t want to be an actor that only knows how to act. I want to be an actor who has knowledge in subjects such as: history, psychology, science, religion, and even math (to a certain extent). After college, I see myself moving to cities like Chicago or New york City. I want to be apart of a team of artists who are passionate about creating original works, and exposing them to whomever is willing to listen. Beyond that, I don’t know what else I’d like to include into my future picture/path. I feel like I have so much to learn at this school, that making an absolute and definite plan right now, would be quite detrimental to my career and experience. I know that the classes I plan to take and the many projects I plan to take part in will provide me with the tools necessary to create a more clear plan for my future.

Skills that I have and the skills that I must acquire…

At this point in my life everything about me is being put in question. The skills I thought I had, at times, feel foreign to me. I’ve discovered that some of my strongest skills at certain times work against me. For example, I am not someone who has ever taken “no” for answer. Everything I’ve been able to accomplish in life is due to that one valuable skill. In better words, I am determined. I will work my little butt of to accomplish anything and everything that is of great importance to me. I know all this sounds selfish and greedy, but I don’t mean to come off that way. I just don’t permit myself to have excuses for any situation. I take my career very seriously and take responsibility for my own actions. I don’t know where I’m going at the moment, but I know how I want to feel when I get there. That being said, the manner in which I write this blog is the way I treat myself.  At times, I can be my worst of enemy. I’m my worst critic. As a child I wasn’t aware that I did this, but later I started getting notes from my directors, telling me to be less of a perfectionist because it was affecting my performance. So after that, I decided to keep a close eye on the issue of perfectionism. I think that the one skill I MUST acquire is patience. Sometimes I get desperate and want quick results when I know the time is not right. And this has been the cause of many break downs in the past. Being able to be at SMU has been a gift. A tough but amazing gift. I feel like I’m gaining so much knowledge about my career through the speakers that attend our FACE class, that I almost feel an urge to slow down time, and enjoy this process of intellectual and artistic growth.

Me: Beautiful weather (depends on how the weather is really looking. Hopefully really nice on that day.), huh?

Important Person: Yes (expands on the subject of weather), or No (rejects comment)

Me: Hello, my name is Alejandra Flores.

(Firm hand shake while person tells me their name)

Very nice to make your acquaintance Mr./Ms. Blank. So I’m just going to get down to it. I want to show the audience how relevant they are to live theater and how important that can be to their lives. For example, I have a very specific connection to the hispanic culture and community, and I believe that the latino demographic can be entertained and inspired to grow and resolve in their integrity, through their participation in intimate, live theatrical events. One of the projects I have in mind is to create socially relevant dramatic pieces through collaboration with the local theatre talent and the involvement of the Dallas community. With this I hope to expand the reach of these events to broader audiences, which will provoke their entertainment interest, while simultaneously attracting a return profit through their contribution to our work and progress.

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.”

- Jim Rohn

What motivates me to accomplish everyday tasks and goals?

My fear of failure. Fear of failing my family, my myself, and my God. These three things have been my propellers in life and the reasons for my successes. Keeping them in my mind and heart has provided me with the strength I have needed to get off my ass and confront harsh situations. I do not believe in contentment. To me that is equal to failure. Therefore, there hasn’t been a day in my life, that I have settled for anything less than my heart’s true desires.

Like I have mentioned in about every single one of my pervious posts, my family is my core. Without the “familia” I am nothing. So time for a little history on where I come from: My father came from a tiny mapless town in Mexico. My mother from Lima, Peru. Both of my parents migrated to the United States at a very young age for very different reasons, but nevertheless with a heart and mind full of dreams and aspirations. Except, they soon came to realize that sometimes the grass on the other side isn’t always green, and their minds were soon consumed by fear and desperation. I come from a very poor background. I never really had a lot as a child, but in those times money didn’t really matter. I had two amazing parents that showered me with an abundant amount of love, and made sure my eyes never caught a glimpse of our cold reality. Over the years though, my parents have worked really hard to provide my sister and I with a better style of living,  and that is something that I will forever be grateful for. To me, my parent’s life story is incredibly moving and inspirational, and just thinking about the numerous amount of things they have had to overcome through out the course lives, in order to get to the place they are now, obligates me to put all excuses behind me. In my family, there is no whining, there is only the desire to do what our heart commands. My parents have raised me around the idea that if I truly want something and if my heart is in a rightful place, then there is nothing capable enough to hold me back from reaching my dreams. Because I am first generation, first to go to college, first born, and I have a beautiful younger sister looking up to me, it is my responsibility continue making a difference. One of my goals in life is to make my parents proud to have a hardworking and accomplished daughter. I want them to know that the many sacrifices that they have had to make for me have not been in vain. All these thoughts are constantly running through my mind, at all moments of the day, never resting, always motivating me to keep moving forward and to never give up. I owe this to them, to myself, to God.

Definition:

Value: The regard that something is held to deserve; the importance or preciousness of something: “your support is of great value”.

As a little girl my mother would always say love was the closest thing we had to magic. It wasn’t until many years later that I realized the truth behind her words. Love has the power to destroy, create, and manipulate an entire nation. Love is anywhere and everywhere. Love is the reason our hearts continue to palpitate, the reason for which we overcome the shit life throws at us, the reason I haven’t given up on myself and the people of our generation. These are only some of the reasons why I have chosen to live life through the power of love.

I have always been too familiar with the feeling of being loved. In a previous post, I discussed the unconditional love I feel towards my family. They are my everything and there isn’t a day I don’t pray for their health and welfare. They are the reason I do the things I do. Because of my family, I know HOW to love. I believe love means nothing if it is only felt, love must be expressed through actions. Over the years and to this day, my family continues to show me their never-ending love.

My life has never been a piece of cake. It has probably had more downs than ups, but love has always kept me afloat. Because God has blessed with people that have showed me love my whole life, it saddens me to see people who haven’t.  Many times people try to comprehend the wonders of the world we live in. They go on to develop a skewed and rather dull and dark perception of life. They close themselves off to emotions of feeling and touch. Consequently, build walls to keep people out and live in complete isolation. They are scared to feel. That is why love is so important to me. I make it a daily goal, to show people how much I love and care for them. I couldn’t care less if I know this person or not, all I care about is putting a smile on their face and letting them know they are not alone. That there is hope and a better tomorrow. I only wish I had the power to radiate love into each and every human being on this earth. I believe that when love is present in one’s heart and soul, even the strongest of walls can melt away.

Love is like magic, and I am the magician of my life.

To get work done, or not to get work done is THE question I ask myself every time I see the weekend approaching. As a college student, you are constantly having to chose between going out with your friends or staying in to study for a really important test. For the most part, if I know I have a major test coming up, I will do the responsible thing and stay in. I am not perfect, so of course there have been times in which I have chosen to go out and have later regretted my bad decision. But what tends to help me make the right decision on most occasions, is keeping in mind the great amount of sacrifices my family has had to make in order for me to attend such a great university. My college education is extremely valuable to me and I cannot afford to ruin it for one night of fun.

I found the articles we were asked to read for my lecture FACE extremely interesting. I connected especially with the first article, which lists working habits that people have developed in order to help others study more effectively. It also contains a detailed explanation for as to why people with good working habits tend to achieve better results, than those who have yet to establish any. In this post, I would like to analyze two major points mentioned on the list and how I have incorporated them in past experiences.

1. Elaborate, elaborate, elaborate. Associate, associate, associate.

I believe I already unconsciously do this. If I am trying to memorize a word, I will immediately find some way to connect it to something personal. Even If it is something extremely random and no one else see’s the connection but me. Recently, in my World of Shakespeare class, I had to memorize the cosmology of the world, and I made a connection between a joke my friend had made about an oyster earlier that day and the location of the Oyster in the Great Chain of being. Even though that question was not asked to me on the test, I am pretty sure I will not be forgetting that answer any time soon. It is the silly associations that I make with things that make studying a lot more interesting, and actually help me remember things on tests.

2) Develop an understanding before trying to remember.

Personally I think this is especially true when I’m dealing with anything related to math. I have hated math and anything to do with it for as long as I can remember. For the longest time, I struggled to figure out why I was so bad at this subject. Most of the time, I blamed my failure, to understand the subject matter, on my severe case of ADHD. But recently, while sitting in a College Algebra lecture, I discovered the reason for my low performance on this subject. During the 18 years of public education, no teacher had ever taken their time to teach me the origin of math. It all clicked in a matter of seconds. I had been waisting my time trying to figure out how to work with the five different formulas I had been given, than looking back at the original formula and analyze the incorporation of n,p,and t. After I left the math lecture that day, my way of studying was revolutionized, and I not only applied that concept to math, but to all other subjects. Honestly, I can now say I thoroughly enjoy the practice of math because that professor gave it a purpose.

The two articles were amazingly interesting. I learned a couple things about myself that I had not been aware of before. I will definitely try to incorporate some of the other suggestions mentioned in the article when I study.

Note to Reader:

Before I begin writing on the subject matter of my life. I must confess that my inability to express my inner feelings on paper/post make this assignment rather difficult. I find myself in a more comfortable and relaxed state of mind when I am able to discuss my feelings and inner thoughts to a group of people or certain individual. But I understand the purpose of this assignment, and therefore choose to take this assignment, not as a form of torture, but rather as a challenge that will inevitably help me grow as an artist and individual. Let this blogging journey begin…

Hello Reader!

My name is Alejandra Flores and I was born on July 16, 1993 in Dallas, Texas at around 3:45 am. I am indeed a Cancer. I am the daughter of some of the two most amazing individuals on this planet Alejandro and Sandra Flores. My parents have shaped my life in the best way and have always provided me with the support I have needed through my 19 years of existence. One of the things that I am most grateful for is the birth of my sister, Katherine Flores. Even though my sister is only twelve I can honestly say I consider her to be my best friend. I would give the world for my family. I believe family to be one of the most vital things in a person’s life. As human beings, we need family to help us overcome the challenges of this world. By family I’m not only referring to immediate blood related members, but a group of people or person that supports you no matter what and willing to stand at your side when no one else will. If one had to define me with a single word it would most likely be FAMILY. That is what I am all about and it’s one of the reasons as to why I enjoy theatre so much.

Every time I am cast in a play I am introduced to a new and amazing group of individuals. To me a cast/ ensemble is like a family. I believe it is important to personally get to know the people in a cast, and appreciate him/her for who they really are and not the character they play. Being more than a cast, being a FAMILY, enriches the rehearsal process and gives freedom to self-expression. As an actor, one wants to feel comfortable enough to take risks and fail in a rehearsal. And I believe becoming a family provides actors with the support they need.

I love what I do because I feel that what we do as actors can impact another human being in the most amazing way. I am currently studying theater at the BEST university ever and I have the best theatre professors working with me to make me a better ARTIST. I am also working along with some of the best individuals I have ever met. Everyone in my ensemble/class is so open to getting to know and learn from each other. Being away from my family at home has been difficult for me and I miss them so much. But I have joined a new family. A family full of wonderful human beings that are genuine, creative, dedicated, brave, willing to take risks, and my list could seriously go on and on. I love being at this school and I feel so blessed to be able to spend the next four years with these people.

Principle: If you want to go Fast, go alone. If you want to go Far, go together.

I am aware that this blog post was suppose to be about my history and where I come from. To tell you the truth reader, I’m tired of concentrating on the past. I don’t mean to suggest that my past is horrifying and unbearable. I’ve had my ups and downs in life and I’ve made mistakes like any other human being. But for a long period of time I dwelled on them. I’m just now learning to forgive and stop judging myself for those mistakes. The reason I chose to concentrate on the topic of family for my first post is because my family is the reason for my happiness RIGHT NOW. I wouldn’t be studying at one of the most prestigious universities in Texas if it wasn’t for them. I will eventually get around to discussing my past in a later post, but for now the present is SO surreal that I would like to take this time to enjoy as it is.

Thanks for reading

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